By Andrea Joshua Asnicar - Film Director & WeLife Editor at large
Acnestis: the part of the back an animal can't reach to scratch.
That’s what we are, animals that can’t scratch our back. We’re there, in our nest, in our warm womb where we spent a long time and where our brain tells us to stay longer.
That itch is still there because our heart tells us that we want more. When we start to want more for our life we suddenly commence taking notes of all the problems and limitations of our nest. They grow on us, slowly. We don’t realize it yet, but they accumulate in our head one after the other until suddenly we need to scratch.
That’s what that scratch is: you coming to terms with the limitations of your home, of your friends, of your relationship, of your community.
If you are reading this, it is because you felt those limitations, that itch.
It’s difficult to place that itch. I was never really aware of what I was running away from. But I want you to know that you’re running away from something. Either you know it or not.
That’s what we are, animals that can’t scratch our back. We’re there, in our nest, in our warm womb where we spent a long time and where our brain tells us to stay longer.
All of us who thought about leaving home because we wanted more from this life, should start with this very question: what is that more?
Let me spoil it for you right off the bat.
You don’t know. And you won’t know for a long time.
Even better, in the end, it doesn’t matter, because you don’t care right now. You only know you want to leave
So why is it important to define that more? Because when you’re searching for what you want, you start to realize what you don’t want. Work by contrast.
Maybe I want to become an astronaut. Can I do it where I live? In Italy we don’t have our own version of Cape Canaveral, not even rockets, also my friends will think I’m mad and my parents will try to talk me out of it.
Limitations. I don’t want to stay. I need to leave.
Your “more” doesn’t have to be extremely detailed. It needs to give you direction. Vague maybe, but something to aim at or you will end up drifting in space.
When I left home I thought I wanted to get some experience, expand my portfolio, and maybe create a bunch of short films. I didn’t know that I would end working for a company that changed my life and then building my own business.
All of us who thought about leaving home because we wanted more from this life, should start with this very question: what is that more?
I know it’s hard to leave your home.
The familiarity of our comfort zone, everything we had growing up, is like a black hole. It pulls us in and it’s a sweet force, difficult to resist. Our brain is wired to choose comfort because comfort is safe, and we will choose safety over freedom, privacy, or decency.
If you truly want to leave, if you genuinely want more for your life you need to break your thinking pattern. You need to shift your perception of change.
Leaving home is hard. But staying home and regretting the rest of your life is harder.
Whenever you see complications in leaving, whenever all of your fears scream inside you and tell you not to go, think: how much is costing me to stay here? How much is costing me to not take action for my future? How much more can I achieve if I only pushed myself?
If you’re not clear, think: what don’t you want?
Leaving home is hard. But staying home and regretting the rest of your life is harder.